Slowly, but surely I’ve been losing myself, and becoming a grown up.

I’m not sure if was turning thirty or the piece of mail sent to me addressed to Mrs. Daniel Kane, that brought this to light.

Or perhaps it was a combination of time off work, sunshine, warm weather, and wine that set me lose.

Whatever the cause, a sudden new rebel seemed to spring forth over the weekend.

I was drinking my second cup of coffee, and it was time to head out for our morning hike. I finished telling my husband that I don’t like drinking coffee out of traveling mugs, and proceeded to the car with my coffee in a lidless mug.

By the look on his face, I could tell that he disapproved, but it was my birthday, so he was trying to let it slide.

My hands full of too many things, I began to climb into the car, and of course, dripped some coffee. He couldn’t hold it anymore

” I knew you were going to spill that.”

Me: I think I missed the seat, and besides, the taste and experience of a great cup of coffee in the perfect mug , is so much better than always having clean car seats. ( this felt like a logical argument)

I continued drinking my coffee, and he took the corners a little slower.

Or maybe it was the taste of the fresh air, and the freedom that I felt while hiking. I was skipping, talking to both real and imaginary goats, greeting horses, pretending that I was a shepard, and carefully examining each lovely patch of moss, knowing that I would find the perfect patch.

My legs were tired, the sun was bright, the moss just right.

As usual my husband was blazing the trail in front of me, I didn’t care. I stopped and right then and there laid down on the moss in the middle of the trail. Then I made my husband join me, he was reluctant as most adults would be when being told to lay down in the dirt, but he joined anyway.

Be willing to be who you are. Click to tweet

It can be hard, we have jobs, families, responsibilities, and sometimes we just want to kick up our heels, and be, well, irresponsible.

Sometimes we want to wear jeans to work, when our boss says that we have to wear slacks: put on your jeans

Sometimes we want to ignore our email and go and lay in the sun: give yourself an hour in the sun, your email responses will be sooo much better

Sometimes, okay lot’s of times, we have the urge to buy expensive, coffee, because it makes us feel so good. Buy the coffee

While listening to Danielle LaPorte , she shared her idea of making a stop doing list, it sounded wonderful, so I dove in and wrote one.

It can be all too easy to create to-do list, today let’s create a stop doing list; here’s mine

1. stop checking email when I don’t have time to respond

2. stop skipping workouts ( even if it’s only 15 minutes, I need to make time to move)

3. Stop doubting myself

4. Stop waiting until the last minute to buy gifts ( which means that I need to get on my Mother’s Day shopping)

5. Stop comparing myself to others

6. Stop putting off starting

7. Stop allowing facebook, email, and twitter to intrude on my studio time

8. Stop willingly giving into resistance

9. Stop Expecting things to make sense ( this is going to a tough one…. I probably won’t succeed, but it’s a good reminder)